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Sunday, March 23, 2025 | Special Advertising Section8!\By Al KempSpecial to Aging Well Caregiving comes in many forms. Parents do it for their children. Adults do it for their aging parents. Spouses do it when their partner is injured or faces unexpected illness.Anyone can be a caregiver. It%u2019s a role to which some people aspire. For others, caregiving is a role that%u2019s thrust upon them. %u201cCaregiving often can be thankless, exhausting, lonely, a recipe for burnout and a lot of unpaid labor,%u201d said Michelle Solomon, of Seattle%u2019s Roots of Compassion Therapy, who specializes in treating bipolar disorder, mental health caregivers and those suffering from stress and burnout.Navigating family dynamics can be tricky, especially when numerous people are involved in providing care, she said.There needs to be common agreement on what%u2019s in the patient%u2019s best interest because it%u2019s not always easy to do the medically %u201cright%u201d thing when the person delivering care also has an impulse to protect and make the patient feel loved, Solomon said.It is crucial for the caregiver to be emotionally prepared for the task, she said.%u201cIt can be shocking and distressing to see a loved one deteriorating physically and/or mentally when you are caring for them. Perhaps they were doing fine and this was sudden, or they%u2019ve decompensated and have been struggling over a long period of time and the changes have been gradual,%u201d Solomon said.Dr. Meredith Jan Tackett, a rehabilitation psychologist specializing in health and disability issues with the Rowan Center for Behavioral Medicine in Seattle, says caregivers are underappreciated and their important role seldom fully understood.%u201cCaregivers need more support from the community, resources are scarce, confusing and are often seen as %u2018extra%u2019 benefits when they are necessary for life. Caregivers can become isolated and overwhelmed since they often have 24-hour responsibilities,%u201d he said. %u201cCaregivers are encouraged to understand the limits of what they can manage, reach out for back-up caregivers, find emotional support wherever they can get it, and engage in self-care activities like exercise, social connections, hobbies and caregiver support groups.%u201dSolomon offered these practical tips for caregivers:Focus on the small gains. Things can look bleak with their health and well-being, but rather than adding all the negatives up, take a moment to list the positives, even if small. Focusing on the small gains can do wonders for your own mental health.Find moments to take a break, even if it%u2019s five or 10 minutes. We often think %u201cthere%u2019s no time for myself%u201d when we are a full-time caregiver for someone else, Solomon said. While there may be a lot of truth in that, she encourages caregivers to find pockets of time they can use for themselves when the patient is resting, watching a show, at an appointment or with someone else. Utilize a support system. Reach out for help with people you trust and understand. It%u2019s natural for roles to shift during times of caregiving. For example, your adult child may be caregiving alongside you and thus needs to be seen as such during those role transitions. They can step in to help support you, and that%u2019s OK. Give yourself permission to prioritize yourself. %u201cWe are constantly so focused on making sure our loved one is taken care of that no one is checking on us,%u201d Solomon said. Ask yourself, %u201cWhat do I need right now?%u201d Is it some rest, a hot shower, a shoulder to cry on or a funny video to make you laugh? Figure out what that is and then create time to do it. You%u2019ll get some relief and benefit, and be able to return to your caregiving duties in a better mindset, feeling less frustrated and resentful.Manage your own guilt. Caregiving can bring about a lot of complicated feelings, and you may find yourself feeling guilty that you aren%u2019t the one sick or struggling in the same way. You may also feel partial responsibility for how their care has been handled, that you%u2019re not doing enough or for a lack of progress, even though that is out of your control. Your loved one may be frustrated or blame you, even though it%u2019s not your fault. %u201cAcknowledge that you are feeling guilty and write helpful reminders for how you%u2019ve been supporting them, that you%u2019re doing the best you can, and that you have their best interest in mind,%u201d Solomon said.!\Michelle Solomon, of Seattle%u2019s Roots of Compassion Therapy. (Courtesy of Michelle Solomon)